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A list of things to fear

A list of things to fear

By Punkerslut

My psychiatrist always told me that the mania is a mental illness. In my humble opinion, after many years I spent on this mess of a planet, anyone who feels always crises sanity after seeing the crap that goes on around them suffers from mental illness. I pushed through the shit as it there just got to be some damage to these delicate organs think. Too often, there would be secret murmurs a deep awareness, "hold precisely because of this ... One day you'll feel better ..." We're all crazy, it's all really just a matter of degree.

Item # 1. Never forget ... misery you had to pull through, like wadding through the shit swamp.

So I started a list. A list of things to remember. Because, as Hope Springs Eternal, my little mental notes will eventually fade out, it will just be my brain making room for alcoholism and habits of disrespect to my best friends. One day I'll be satisfied. There will be good friends all around, a good career by all (I 'UNNo ... I think a mechanic or a certain type), and many good times to be had. And in that future, that dream I fell over when I cruise these streets, I imagine there will be lots of things I forget. Among these, there is this: the misery of shit I went through. I am sure that the proletariat working class need not be told what my life has been. Nine to five jobs those months some fine unemployment where it seems that nobody will hire about five hundred 'just one more time "using heroin, a note or two about love delivered via towel bar ... Poetic, yes, but misery is poetic. One day I just want to be 100% quiet.

Item # 2. Never forget ... When you're in love, you can not trust you.

It is a valuable lesson. And the lessons they are, it must be valued. Some people will say: "Yeah, you kissed her again, but at least you've learned from him." But again, some people only learn their lesson when the broken end of a splash bottle of vodka through their faces. Wait, I think it was a bottle of gin ... Yeah, it should be. It was his taste. We were sitting on the sofa, drinking, television, insert typical setting component. My memory of the incident is not too large. I remember especially the police officer asked me: "Can you see me? How many fingers I slow? " For some reason, my mind felt like it had calculated the situation with full effectiveness, and the answer I gave will be a puzzle piece. "Do you worry, I'll show you how to tape the Super Bowl ... This video has never been really good. We counted on getting it replaced anyway ... "The officer asked me again, then called for ambulence. The last thing I remember she was led away in handcuffs, fighting and screaming. I caught something like: "Fuck you, I never fucking loved you! This was all your fault! "After that, everything is white. When I got home from the hospital and came to collect my things (heh), my neighbor said: "Yeah, you sort of set after she was swept away ... They kept saying, 'Oh my God, oh my god and stuff like that. Oh! Yeah, and you started crying and was like, 'I just need to stop, please ... "Man, you Must've been wasted. "Oh, that reminds me ...

Item # 3. Never forget ... To obtain a copy of the police report.

I'm always curious what the real deal was with that. Who the fuck knows ... Perhaps there is a small piece of wisdom that I carry. Something Cliche as: "At 4:30 am, the victim kept repeating the phrase" you must remember ... you can do what you want. "Once I receive the report Police (I really can not average $ 10 per page right now), I'm sure I'll be rich with friends, and little wisdom will go a long way. I want say, shit, it might be something that is not so cliché. It might be something practical. I could really go for A, "Hey, you should definitely check this album of jazz cops recommended "or something like" vodka and beer do not mix well. I'm sure I do not want to get something like: "When you're in love, you can not trust you." It will be engraved in my brain for quite a few years. Yeah, it's not long enough; So this list. Moreover, this fuck neighbor. I bet I made a little better than he described.

Item # 4. Never forget ... you can not drink more than one member gang from Hell's Angels.

This, I believe, was actually one of the points highlights of my life. I mean, how many people learn to speak the time they actually got beat by a motorcycle gang? And not just any motorcycle gang. The Hell's Angels. It started with a bar, a gang of bikers (Hell's Angels, yes yes), and five gallons of cheap vodka. It seems that I am become intoxicated, beligerent, etc., one of them insulted me, and I just threw. As my previous experiences with violence or there was so much alcohol, drugs or violence has been so excessive that most memories of the incident remain unclear. Fortunately, I I am told, I was not killed, that was a real risk, I suppose. But fuck that. Any time you can not - oh, wait, this should be the next point ...

Item # 5. Never forget ... any time you're afraid to do something just because you could then die is a moment that you yourself have officially labeled as a cat. Go get drunk and think about the decision you made.

In fact, fuck that. I need not recall why. Maybe I need a reminder like, getting the usual treatments to treat this ideal. But a reminder for that? Fuck it. Scratch that fucker off ...

Item # 5. Never forget ... Whenever you are afraid to do something just because you might then die, is once you yourself have officially labeled as a cat. Go get drunk and think about the decision you made. (I suck. I can not believe I wrote this sub-post ... # 5: therapy, eh.)

Item # 5. Never forget ... always take time to get wasted with your friends.

This is an important note. Any amount of long time of life that does not get a manner or form first burn, rip, RIP, and eventually destroy you. If at any time you think you've been sober for many too long, just a walk to the nearest liquor store and get some alcohol. Friends are a plus in this situation. Even if you have to fuckin 'mark on your calendar, be sure to get lost with your friends. What you do with a game of scrabble orgasm, fuck parties, heroin, or abundance Alcohol is your decision. I did everything as a way to involve my friends and I must say, scrabble fuckin 'sucks. It is really good Spending time with people you can associate with. It is absolutely necessary. It is in these moments of profound intoxication, forgetfulness, and the sheer delight you receive such as trade fair: "I'll sell my soul for a shwill This beer ... and not the lower part of the beer, or ... "To things so interesting, "I really need to stop killing people, this shit is really cut my calendar ... "I'd make a Another element, do not forget your friends and always be there for them, but it is a part of post # 5. In fact, to make sure not to forget ...

Item # 5. Sub-paragraph. Never forget ... to be there for your friends when they need you.

There were some good friends, some bad friends, and not in any way you could recognize. My best friend introduced me to heroin, and this is not why he is my best friend. And one of the greatest friends I ever had (which I would like to think has never been my friend) is now my worst enemy. Because he has sided with the members of my family when they tried to have an operation on my drinking. I agreed to listen, so I could drink Bacardi ... and as someone else has to pay. This fucker. It was like "I do not think this is a good idea to drink at all. "It was his disagreement with Bacardi, who gave his opposition my family more bargaining power. I finally did make a deal for a six-pack of generic beer in exchange for viewing time. But even if I could have obtained a bottle of Bacardi, which would have been the coolest intervention of my life. And for this reason, Joe-Bob-Bill (any) is now my worst enemy. This, dedicated and reader confidence, brings me to my next point.

Item # 6. Never forget ... completely distrust of your family.

There are some sub-clauses, amendments, and "What If" altercations that come with that, but I'm sure I'll be able to fully recall all if I ever need that list of things to remember for advice. I do not really know what the situation is, you know, different cultures around the globe with different values and different family relationships and how people, even in America have learned to evolve and change. I really think your family implicit impressions of you can really wreak havoc on your very degenerate mind. For so long, you been to their thank you. Prejudice, bigotry, hatred, love, inadequacies expressed through rage and violence ... All that is past to you, not only by genes (whether by genes at all), but by how your family has acted and behaved when you were just a young tot. I came to the very clear conclusion that your family can not be trusted. The natural mental process, one that tells you to always respect opinion and honor your parents, you have to involve that with, "They are lying to you. "It has become instinct. Then, when you get something like: "I think you have a drinking problem, your conscience must respond:" They lie to you. "Then you can answer me: "Drinking problem? That's what I call a clean solution. Ah, I made you look stupid." This instinct needs to act as a filter. Thus, you can hear a family member say: "Hey, I think your girlfriend is violent and you need to break," your conscience it will send you a warning, and then your brain processes "hhhmmmm, they could be right." But I've gone mad psychotic girlfriends covered by Article 2.

Item # 7. Never forget ... not to call your landlord a cuntfuck " unless you have a lease.

This post is rather obvious.

Item # 8. Never forget ... forget everything you learned in school.

I'm sure few people would disagree with me on this point. Children are kept in these huge buildings. You can not piss without permission. You can not walk without authorization. Those persons are punished. This is not educated. True education lifts your spirit of independence and creates for you. When you can not piss without nod an authority figure, you're nothing more than a fuckin slave '. Forget everything you've learned. These stereotypes that you've picked up from weed smoking in the bathroom and juggling acts in class, style of life that you cowering in fear ... I could go on and on. Facts are facts, and it will always ring true: if you can not forget what you learn to school, you are cursed for life. Something out of your career with your family and your relationships. Fuck school. If you have no respect for her so stay the fuck away from me.

Item # 9. Never forget ... There is still time to change.

I guess this is the ultimate goal of this list. When I look through these articles, I remember every time I made a personal resolution, a command of myself. And every time I think these resolutions, I think at times that I quit. They seem like hard times. I hear the echoes of the family, saying: "It because you never finish anything you start, "or maybe I see a police officer through the bars of a holding cell, listening the same old argument: "I did not bring you here, but I did." For all the promises I made to myself and broken I made another promise. I guess that's why I label this "a list of things to fear." Currently, I think I'll go to the bar with my friends, see if I can drink anymore, and see if I can fall in love with a stranger. If anyone ever finds this list, I will so they say: "Do not take it to heart, kid ... Live life like that is just not worth it. "For all the mistakes I made, I suppose the hardest thing I have to learn is that I can always change.

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